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Long time no see, NEW features!

Journal Entry: Mon Feb 4, 2013, 1:48 PM
I haven't been around for a while. As a lot of you know
I suffer from anxiety, depression, and bi polar.
Things have been a little rough on me
feeling worthless and hopeless, thoughts of
suicide.....but my doctor tried me on Lithium
the other day and it seems to be working
*fingers crossed*



I just want to thank all who've taken the time
to view my gallery,  :+fav: a few pieces
and leave a comment, which I LOVE!!
(The comments NOT the faves, though the faves
are appreciated very much!)
And I'd like to thank those who've added me to their
:+devwatch:! It means more to me than you know...





Some of my favorite Vampiric art

Dance of Passion, Kiss of Death by M-G-Studio:thumb346690519:Lestat de Lioncourt by Eskoplja
Dracul by LostMemoryOfADreamVampire by Aeternum-ArtVampire Gypsy by SamBriggs
For Kristiana by J-u-d-a-sSeduction - design for Spiral direct by Anna-MarineMy Beauties by DelphineAyache






My Stamp....feel free to add it to your journal or shoutbox! :D


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stock that I LOVE


faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock


Some of the wonderful artists I support!

:thumb197460990:



Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme




Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY





All artwork is Lainie Chivers

  • Listening to: Computer Keys
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

New submission process...

Journal Entry: Fri Oct 19, 2012, 4:09 PM
Does anyone else but me HATE it?


I just want to thank all who've taken the time
to view my gallery,  :+fav: a few pieces
and leave a comment, which I LOVE!!
(The comments NOT the faves, though the faves
are appreciated very much!)
And I'd like to thank those who've added me to their
:+devwatch:! It means more to me than you know...





Some of my favorite surreal art

i v o r y by imorawetzPeace on Earth by SilverCurlyARTWARNING! by s2headeagle
My Bleeding Heart by BurakUlkerDissolution 1 by MarcelaBolivarAlone And Confused by BiBiARTs
The Master of Raven by 25clad35Under Water by BiBiARTsGrotesque Attitude III. by Ephynephryn
M10 False Time by Xantipa2-2D3DPhotoMI Use To be a DOLL BW by Rickbw1










My Stamp....feel free to add it to your journal or shoutbox! :D


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stock that I LOVE


faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock


Some of the wonderful artists I support!

:thumb197460990:



Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme




Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY





All artwork is Lainie Chivers

  • Listening to: Computer Keys
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

Update on me....New Features!

Journal Entry: Sat Sep 15, 2012, 7:56 AM
Hello deviants! It's been a long time since I updated my journal,
haven't been feeling well, dealing with life, dealing with
depression....but I got a nice surprise the other day, my
boyfriend bought me a new computer, HUGE screen! It's
gonna be great doing my art on it!



I just want to thank all who've taken the time
to view my gallery,  :+fav: a few pieces
and leave a comment, which I LOVE!!
(The comments NOT the faves, though the faves
are appreciated very much!)
And I'd like to thank those who've added me to their
:+devwatch:! It means more to me than you know...





Some of my favorite surreal art

i v o r y by imorawetzPeace on Earth by SilverCurlyARTWARNING! by s2headeagle
My Bleeding Heart by BurakUlkerDissolution 1 by MarcelaBolivarAlone And Confused by BiBiARTs
The Master of Raven by 25clad35Under Water by BiBiARTsGrotesque Attitude III. by Ephynephryn
M10 False Time by Xantipa2-2D3DPhotoMI Use To be a DOLL BW by Rickbw1










My Stamp....feel free to add it to your journal or shoutbox! :D


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stock that I LOVE


faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock


Some of the wonderful artists I support!

:thumb197460990:



Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme




Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY





All artwork is © Lainie Chivers

  • Listening to: Computer Keys
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

FEATURES!

Journal Entry: Fri Dec 9, 2011, 10:41 AM
I just want to thank all who've taken the time
to view my gallery,  :+fav: a few pieces
and leave a comment, which I LOVE!!
(The comments NOT the faves, though the faves
are appreciated very much!)
And I'd like to thank those who've added me to their
:+devwatch:! It means more to me than you know...





Some of my favorite dark art

trip to darkness by Digital-EpilepseeHarmony... by J-u-d-a-s
Signs by peroni68You can trust me by robhas1leftThe Darkest Lullaby by PayneNoir
:thumb248607390::thumb242892216:Slaughter by MurderAngel
Could you ever listen to me? by tomabwDesecration Of Mercy by xXxNewCultQueenXMIRAGE by formalART







My Stamp....feel free to add it to your journal or shoutbox! :D


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stock that I LOVE


faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock:thumb307130194:


Some of the wonderful artists I support!

:thumb197460990:



Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY





All artwork is © Lainie Chivers

  • Listening to: Computer Keys
  • Reading: Shadow of the King
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

New Month New Features, new Chatroom!

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 1, 2011, 8:43 AM
I've just opened a chatroom for any who care to join me, it's here
chat.deviantart.com/chat/Night…


I just want to thank all who've taken the time
to view my gallery,  :+fav: a few pieces
and leave a comment, which I LOVE!!
(The comments NOT the faves, though the faves
are appreciated very much!)
And I'd like to thank those who've added me to their :+devwatch:!
It means more to me than you know...





Some of my favorite dark art

trip to darkness by Digital-EpilepseeHarmony... by J-u-d-a-s:thumb271543054:
Signs by peroni68You can trust me by robhas1leftThe Darkest Lullaby by PayneNoir
:thumb248607390::thumb242892216:Slaughter by MurderAngel
Could you ever listen to me? by tomabwDesecration Of Mercy by xXxNewCultQueenXMIRAGE by formalART







My Stamp....feel free to add it to your journal or shoutbox! :D


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stock that I LOVE


faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock


Some of the wonderful artists I support!

:thumb197460990:



Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY





All artwork is © Lainie Chivers

  • Listening to: Computer Keys
  • Reading: Shadow of the King
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

Hello DA

Journal Entry: Wed Sep 21, 2011, 12:42 PM
Things have been a little blah for me lately
feeling like I've lost my mojo. I'm trying to create but
haven't really been happy with I've been putting out.
Hopefully with the increase in my head meds,
things will be back to normal soon.


I just want to thank all who've taken the time
to view my gallery,  :+fav: a few pieces
and leave a comment, which I LOVE!!
(The comments NOT the faves, though the faves
are appreciated very much!)
And I'd like to thank those who've added me to their :+devwatch:!
It means more to me than you know...





Just some of my many favorite cemetery scenes

Eternal Love by Tenebrae76 Guardian Angel by ak-fotos Shrouded by marzenaabl
-requiescat in pace- by mIkI-chIn Heaven's gate by Darknight-Stock Grace Through the Trees by redwolf518
Sleeping Death by nocnatisina :thumb123047174: .: The sign of autumn:. by retro2k
Closed Eyes by retro2k Glasnevin by deadrose333 Sad Sweet Music BW by DelaneyLaFae





My Stamp....feel free to add it to your journal or shoutbox! :D


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stock that I LOVE


faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock


Some of the wonderful artists I support!

:thumb197460990:



Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY





All artwork is © Lainie Chivers

  • Listening to: Silence of the lambs background noise
  • Reading: King Arthur
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

I'm so EXCITED!

Journal Entry: Mon Jun 20, 2011, 9:34 AM
I just want to thank all who've taken the time
to view my gallery,  :+fav: a few pieces
and leave a comment, which I LOVE!!
(The comments NOT the faves, though the faves
are appreciated very much!)
And I'd like to thank those who've added me to their :+devwatch:!
It means more to me than you know...





Just some of my many favorite scenic pieces

A way to Chevalle by azielonko :thumb128629470: 163 Foresty by Tigers-stock

Foggy Way by intao paradise by CreamymagiqueDigital The Celts by Nelleke

Bout du Monde... by kyrneucciu V A P O R I Z E by DennisChunga Morning fog by Starfall00

Forest Stream STOCK by wyldraven Serenity by SteelAtlas Explotion III by Teodora-Chinde

Here in the Shadows of Time by Misty2007 Ocean Charm 3 by Manwathiell surreal sky ... by OrazioFlacco

winter by verdas Whose Woods Are These IV by intao Hidden Treasure by WojciechDziadosz

The Divine Sanity by swinspeed Meadow of Crocus by AirSunyi :thumb155636578:





My Stamp....feel free to add it to your journal or shoutbox! :D


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stock that I LOVE


faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock


Some of the wonderful artists I support!

:thumb197460990:



Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY





All artwork is © Lainie Chivers

  • Mood: Love
  • Listening to: My keyboard keys
  • Reading: Breaking Dawn
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

New Features!

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 18, 2011, 7:19 AM
I just want to thank all who've taken the time
to view my gallery,  :+fav: a few pieces
and leave a comment, which I LOVE!!
(The comments NOT the faves, though the faves
are appreciated very much!)
And I'd like to thank those who've added me to their :+devwatch:!
It means more to me than you know...





Just some of my many favorite scenic pieces

A way to Chevalle by azielonko :thumb128629470: 163 Foresty by Tigers-stock

Foggy Way by intao paradise by CreamymagiqueDigital The Celts by Nelleke

Bout du Monde... by kyrneucciu V A P O R I Z E by DennisChunga Morning fog by Starfall00

Forest Stream STOCK by wyldraven Serenity by SteelAtlas Explotion III by Teodora-Chinde

Here in the Shadows of Time by Misty2007 Ocean Charm 3 by Manwathiell surreal sky ... by OrazioFlacco

winter by verdas Whose Woods Are These IV by intao Hidden Treasure by WojciechDziadosz

The Divine Sanity by swinspeed Meadow of Crocus by AirSunyi :thumb155636578:





My Stamp....feel free to add it to your journal or shoutbox! :D


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stock that I LOVE


faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock


Some of the wonderful artists I support!

:thumb197460990:



Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY





All artwork is © Lainie Chivers

  • Mood: Love
  • Listening to: My keyboard keys
  • Reading: Breaking Dawn
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

Hello Deviants

Journal Entry: Fri Apr 29, 2011, 8:00 AM



Some of you have wondered and asked about my health,
And for the time being, I'm doing well. Every now and then
I have an exacerbation, which means my lungs are inflamed,
when that happens my doctor calls in some antibiotics for me.
As for as what was going on with me mentally, I'm doing much
better. I saw a new doctor, he spoke to me for two hours
getting to know me and what I've been going through.
He prescribed 3 different antidepressants and I noticed a
difference immediately. And I've discovered less emotional distress
means less getting sick, so, I've been doing very well.

I just want to thank all who've taken the time
to view my scant little gallery,  :+fav: a few pieces
and leave a comment, which I LOVE!!
(The comments NOT the faves, though the faves
are appreciated very much!)
And I'd like to thank those who've added me to their :+devwatch:!
It means more to me than you know...






I LOVE Dragons!

:thumb196289691: Reckoning by Muttlyn
Heaven's Chaos by KathyLioncourt Hydra by Evolvana
Sea Dragon by Jared1481 Black Death by JasonEngle
War of Dragons by kerembeyit World of Fire by ElConsigliere
First Lesson by kerembeyit Blue Dragon. by Amisgaudi
Checkmate by phantastes The First Flight by Prasa
SOUL SACRIFICE by soys Forever Lost by OrmIrian
Yin and Yang by OrmIrian



My Stamp....feel free to add it to your journal or shoutbox! :D


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stock that I LOVE


faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock


Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb197460990:



Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY

My Beautiful Gift
from jpo75.deviantart.com/
Don't feel blue... by JanneO



IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
Lainie Chivers©

  • Mood: Love
  • Listening to: Ceiling Fan
  • Reading: Nothing at the moment
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

New Features and some babbling...

Journal Entry: Fri Apr 8, 2011, 8:10 AM
Just put up some new features...I'm focusing on "Fantasy."
Go show em some love!

I'd like to apologize to everyone that has faved my art,
I usually like to thank each of you personally, but I
was gone so long, the fave notices are backed up,
and it's simply to many for me to catch up on, but know this,
I appreciate each and every fave and comment.

Thank you all from the bottom of my :heart:

One more thing, add me to your yahoo if you like,
nightt.angell@yahoo.com, it would be nice to
chat with some new friends :blowkiss:


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
:blackrose:

††††††††††††††††††

Featured by RiNymph by RiNymph-Stock
:floating:
news.deviantart.com/article/10…

Features

Fantasy

:thumb191863706: The Bards Tale by Aseamlessbonds The Lady of Shalott by RottenRagamuffin
Vouivre by MySweetDarkness   Aquarius by Daywish Innocence Fades Away by Sugargrl14
:thumb196408524: .the Oracle by masKade Pandora by Pygar
Syrena Peisinoe by CirceSilver Ein Sof :-: Blind Faith by illuminoctis In a dream by alnour




My Stamp....feel free to add it to your
journal or shoutbox!


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stocks I LOVE

faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock

Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb197460990:

:thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY

My Beautiful Gift
from jpo75.deviantart.com/
Don't feel blue... by JanneO



IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
Lainie Chivers©

  • Mood: Love
  • Listening to: Rihanna&Eminem
  • Reading: Seer to Sevenwaters
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

FaceBook Fan page

Journal Entry: Wed Mar 30, 2011, 8:55 AM
I'm excited! I feel better than I have in a very long time,
I've been creating like a mad woman, and I just created
a facebook fan page and I'd love it if my watchers liked
it :D

www.facebook.com/pages/Art-of-…

I'd like to apologize to everyone that has faved my art,
I usually like to thank each of you personally, but I
was gone so long, the fave notices are backed up,
and it's simply to many for me to catch up on, but know this,
I appreciate each and every fave and comment.

Thank you all from the bottom of my :heart:

One more thing, add me to your yahoo if you like,
nightt.angell@yahoo.com, it would be nice to
chat with some new friends :blowkiss:


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
:blackrose:

††††††††††††††††††

Featured by RiNymph by RiNymph-Stock
:floating:
news.deviantart.com/article/10…

Features

Eyes, the window to the soul

Silent Hill 2 by Miumi-U :thumb194092879:
:thumb196134324: :thumb196131977:
Butterfly Eye by mbttdragon Purple Passion by keashie
Rainbow Glamour by LT-Arts  Butterfly Dreamer by LT-Arts
Happily ever after? by Q-Le Universe by ClefairyKid




My Stamp....feel free to add it to your
journal or shoutbox!


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stocks I LOVE

faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock

Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb197460990:

:thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY

My Beautiful Gift
from jpo75.deviantart.com/
Don't feel blue... by JanneO



IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
© 2008-2009 nightt-angell/Lainie Rutz,
registered and protected by MyFreeCopyright.com.
All rights reserved.


  • Mood: Pride
  • Reading: Heir to Sevenwaters
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

Update on Me..and FEATURES!

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 26, 2011, 7:57 PM
,Last journal entry, I told about how much I
miss my grand daughters, and how desolate
I felt when their mom called and told me that
I'd never see them again......
Deep down, I know that's not true, because on
January 26th, after fighting hid ex in court for a year,
he got his parenting rights, it's court ordered that they
share in time sharing of the girls and all important decisions
and functions, he has access to their medical records and
school records.....he's legally been recognized as their
father....he got supervised visitation to begin with,
so the girls can establish a relationship with him,
which won't take long considering they cried for
him every weekend I saw them up until she took
them from me. What sucks is my son went to jail right
after that for violation of probation, he KNEW he was
going before the parenting rights were established,
and visitation court knew about it as well, he smoked
some weed new years eve and when he went to see
his probation officer at the end of the month, he tried
to use someone elses pee and got caught. His po told
him if he had of just told him he might be dirty he
wouldn't have violated him, but he didn't like the fact
that he tried to pull one over on him. He'll be out soon,
they're gonna give him drug rehab and when he's done
, he'll be free, no community control, no probation, no nothing
. He knows he fucked up.....he's been doing so good otherwise,
new years was the last time he smoked pot, he's been fishing
to earn money with his father, he hasn't caught another
charge in 5 years.....it's just him and the damn pot.

So basically, I know, that when he gets past the supervised
visitation, I WILL see them, because she can't tell him his
mother, their grandmother, can't see them....
it's just been so long.....a year is a long time to be ripped
away from 2 babies who you had a large hand in raising
....I can not put into words how much it hurts..I haven't
even heard their voices on the phone. No contact at all
...I have never, in my life, hurt like this...

I was put on anti depressants and anti anxiety
medication months ago because of everything...
but since I'm not working, I can't afford my anti depressants,
and stopped taking them cold turkey, which is a big no no,
and I now know why. I've been feeling sick because of
my lungs since I quit my job in December,and after I
stopped my anti depressants, getting out of bed in the
morning has been something I dread because my
depression is a million times worse since I'm coming
off the medication...all I've been able to think a
bout is slitting my wrists, to stop the hurt...

I made phone calls Friday. Got an appointment
with my pulminologist, finished my intake for my
social security attorney....called act corporation
and voluntarily checked myself in to the
Stewart Marchman / act facility in Daytona. Was there
all day for screening and was going to spend 24
hours there, but, they decided after talking to me
more than once, that even though I admitted to
suicidal thoughts, it was because I wanted help
more than I actually wanted to kill myself
( which is what I told them ) that if I felt like I was
in a safe environment (which I do) and felt comfortable,
I could come home. They called me the 14th
after my appointment with my pulminologist to make
an appointment to go to the New Smyrna facility
to speak with a doctor there and get myself back
on my anti depressants.

They said that what I did, going completely off my
anti anxiety meds and and anti depressants could
have been fatal. They said I feel so miserable
because I'm basically going through detox...
and have been going through it so long,
I'm almost in the clear.

I told her that all I wanted was help, and didn't know
where to go or what to do and up until today couldn't
concentrate very long or make the decisions I needed
to make to get the help I needed. She said she usuall
y doesn't offer to let clients leave like she did me and
didn't want me feel as though I was pushed out the
door. I said I didn't feel that way at all, that by speaking
to me I was sure she could tell that even though the
highest grade I'd completed was 7th grade, I wasn't
stupid and had a lot of common sense, and that by
my coming to their facility, I had succeeded in
setting the wheels in motion to get the help I needed
...she said yes, she could tell I wasn't stupid at all
and had tons of common sense.

She talked to my boyfriend and my sons  girlfriend when they
picked me up, told them the plan for Monday and to
make sure that if the lady from act didn't call me to set
my appointment, that I called her, and that if they
noticed me doing anything or saying anything stupid,
they'd bring me back. She also had them sign a paper stating that.

I told her...if I were dead....I'd never see my
grand daughters again, and they mean
everything in the world to me and more.

But.....it's still so hard to wake up....it still hurts so bad
. I see Kristiona and Aleahs face in every child I see on
TV or in real life.....TV shows inadvertantly always have
something going on that brings back memories of
when I was whole....when I was happy....

The new meds DO seem to be helping, I almost
Feel like myself again.

:heart:


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
:blackrose:

††††††††††††††††††

Featured by RiNymph by RiNymph-Stock
:floating:
news.deviantart.com/article/10…

My Photo Manipulater Profile :D

PMP224 by PhotomanipulatorClub

Eyes, the window to the soul

Silent Hill 2 by Miumi-U :thumb194092879:
:thumb196134324: :thumb196131977:
Butterfly Eye by mbttdragon Purple Passion by keashie
Rainbow Glamour by LT-Arts  Butterfly Dreamer by LT-Arts
Happily ever after? by Q-Le Universe by ClefairyKid




My Stamp....feel free to add it to your
journal or shoutbox!


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stocks I LOVE

faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock

Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY

My Beautiful Gift
from jpo75.deviantart.com/
Don't feel blue... by JanneO



IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
© 2008-2009 nightt-angell/Lainie Rutz,
registered and protected by MyFreeCopyright.com.
All rights reserved.


  • Mood: Content
  • Reading: Heir to Sevenwaters
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

A little About Me, Where I've Been Hiding, And WHY

Journal Entry: Mon Feb 7, 2011, 7:00 AM
  It's been a long time, a very long time since
my last entry,
and this letter to you all right now is one
I've put off and put off
because I know writing it is going to be difficult.
I've always thought of you all as friends
as well as family,
and I'm writing to you now in need of a friend

Right before Christmas, Todd, my now ex husband,
told me he was leaving me.
He'd hooked up with an old high school girlfriend
on face book.
It wasn't a complete shock, we'd been having
problems a long time,
but nevertheless, the actual knowledge he was
leaving was a huge blow.
It was soon after that I ended up in the hospital
with pneumonia caused by COPD.

COPD is a lung disease that makes it hard to breathe.
It is caused by damage to the lungs over many years,
usually from smoking.
COPD is often a mix of three diseases: Chronic Bronchitis,
Emphysema, and asthma.
The air sacs in my lungs are damaged to where
they don't stretch enough for me to breathe properly,
some of them are completely collapsed.
My lungs can get aggravated by cool air, hot air,
allergens, dust, and worst
of all, by catching a common cold.
In 2010 I was hospitalized 6 times with pneumonia.

After Todd left, he agreed to pay the mortgage
and my car payment to help me, because I didn't
want to lose the house,
but with all my medical appointments and
prescriptions to fill...
lost it anyway, Todd moved back in and
I moved out...to be able to
get any help for myself at all, I had to
file a quit claim deed,
giving him complete ownership of the house
that I had so lovingly
helped him build and thought
I'd live the rest of my life in.
So, so far, I'd lost my health,
my husband, and my home.

I have 6 grandchildren, two of which were
2 and 4 the last time
I saw than, or spoke to them, or got to
feel their little arms
around my neck. Every weekend since
they were born, one or both
spent the night at grandma and grandpas house,
it became a ritual....
one that was suddenly and without warning
taken away February 14th 2010.
Of everything I've lost and had to learn
to live with and live without,
the loss of those two, my first grand babies,
has caused me
more hurt and more suffering than a
human heart should ever have to endure.
And I'm not enduring it well, not well at all.

I've lost my husband, my health, my home,
my beautiful granddaughters,
my job, my license, my car......and my sanity.

I'm on medications for breathing as well as
anti depressants and anti anxiety medication.
I can't really say it's helping a lot,
each new day brings more bad news
....each day I try to withdraw from
the hurt more and more.
And since becoming unemployed due to my illness,
I can no longer afford the care I need.
I've no money to see my doctors,
no money for my medications that are
slowly running out....the medications that
help me a live a bit longer

This isn't merely the pain of someone
who's lost another love.
This is the pain of someone who
has lost everything
and has nothing left to lose.......
life holds no hope for me any longer...
no meaning...I have nothing left...

I submitted a new piece called Bereft
a few months ago,
and I've been slowly working on a new piece...
I hope to finish it soon.

There is a measure of anguish that the human mind can accept;
beyond that, each new blow brings only numbness,
the hearts anesthesia,
for it can only tolerate a finite amount of anguish....

No matter what your religious beliefs or preferences,
pray for me please, send positive energy, light many candles.....
cause my will is gone....


:heart:


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
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Stocks I LOVE

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Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY

My Beautiful Gift
from jpo75.deviantart.com/
Don't feel blue... by JanneO



IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
© 2008-2009 nightt-angell/Lainie Rutz,
registered and protected by MyFreeCopyright.com.
All rights reserved.


  • Mood: Sadness
  • Eating: Potato Chips
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

Still Here...Somewhat.....

Journal Entry: Sun Sep 26, 2010, 7:19 PM
  


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
:blackrose:

††††††††††††††††††

Featured by RiNymph by RiNymph-Stock
:floating:
news.deviantart.com/article/10…

My Photo Manipulater Profile :D

PMP224 by PhotomanipulatorClub

Will post new features soon...

My Stamp....feel free to add it to your
journal or shoutbox!


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stocks I LOVE

faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stockSUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock

Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb113519344::thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by PickymeStamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY



IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
© 2008-2009 nightt-angell/Lainie Rutz,
registered and protected by MyFreeCopyright.com.
All rights reserved.


  • Mood: Gloomy
  • Eating: Milk Duds
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

To Journal or Not to Journal...

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 5, 2010, 12:08 PM
That's the question of the day.

I always wonder, if there's any point in
submitting a journal entry. I've been gone
for a long while, many MANY personal
issues in my life to deal with right now,
so I've been finding it extremely difficult to
focus, to concentrate at all, on the internet,
and on my art.

So, here I am, I've popped in for the first time
in a couple months. My journal was last updated
in March, so, I thought I'd write a little something,
which led me to wonder...is there any point?

I come here, to DA, to this wonderful community, and
am surrounded by people who share many of the same
interests. People who can relate to our lives, and
to the pain and heartaches we're forced to suffer through,
throughout the course of our lives,and I find myself wondering..
Do any of you actually care?

If I were to pour my heart into this entry,
and tell you of the terrible fear, sadness,
heartbreak, loss, and emotional collapse I'm going through,
would you actually feel compelled to reply?
To offer advice? Strength? Understanding?
To simply say "I care"?
Or, would you scan a couple lines, then delete it,
and write my entry off as just another emo entry,
another deviant boohooing about life and looking for sympathy
rather than accept the truth of the entry...
that I'm a human being in pain...needing someone to
talk to...someone who'll listen....someone who'll care.

I'm interested to know your thoughts on this subject.


:heart:


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
:blackrose:

††††††††††††††††††

Featured by RiNymph by RiNymph-Stock
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PMP224 by PhotomanipulatorClub

Angel Themed Features!

:thumb122948339: Royal Gift by Aaraujo
Swan Song by WeijiC
An Angel In The Cemetery by maiarcita
Creating Light by elanordh Rhiannon by Scarlettletters
Goddess of the Night by silentfuneral
Angel - Angelo by Jaelle
The Dark Angel by FreyjaSig The Truth Beneath the Rose by Josiane-Rey
The Angels will come forth by Ulysses0302 Into the Light by Saarl
banished from heaven by JoannaGebka Nephilim by Nilopher
:thumb155378521: Brothers Always by Rickbw1
Heartbreaker by ZiiZii-RocK


My Stamp....feel free to add it to your
journal or shoutbox!


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stocks I LOVE

faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stock:thumb38495926:SUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock

Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb113519344::thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme:thumb114557126:

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like


I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY



IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
© 2008-2009 nightt-angell/Lainie Rutz,
registered and protected by MyFreeCopyright.com.
All rights reserved.


  • Mood: Gloomy
  • Reading: The Wicked Day
  • Eating: Milk Duds
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

Couple questions..Any feedback will be appreciated

Journal Entry: Mon Mar 22, 2010, 5:11 PM
I seem to remember a while back
there being a way to upload your art
to your cellphone? Am I crazy? Insane?
Losing my mind? Cause if the option was
there I sure as hell can't find it now!
Did anyone else see it? If so, is it still
do able?  And also....Since DA has gone
to groups and we
submit our works to them and have the
group widget, do I NEED to have this
permission disclaimer here in my
journal anymore?

I'm a little dissappointed in DA groups.
I think people have joined too many groups,
their inboxes are to full of new art, and
they just mass delete, therefore not seeing
the new artworks that have been submitted..
I've uploaded 2 pieces of new art to the groups
I'm in, with barely any views or feedback :tears:
....back before groups, when we were just in "clubs",
the difference was immense.


Never for a moment think any of you are not
important to me, because you are.


:heart:


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
:blackrose:

††††††††††††††††††

Featured by RiNymph by RiNymph-Stock
:floating:
news.deviantart.com/article/10…

My Photo Manipulater Profile :D

PMP224 by PhotomanipulatorClub

I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck

Angel Themed Features!

:thumb122948339: Royal Gift by Aaraujo
Swan Song by WeijiC
An Angel In The Cemetery by maiarcita
Creating Light by elanordh Rhiannon by Scarlettletters
Goddess of the Night by silentfuneral
Angel - Angelo by Jaelle
The Dark Angel by FreyjaSig The Truth Beneath the Rose by Josiane-Rey
The Angels will come forth by Ulysses0302 Into the Light by Saarl
banished from heaven by JoannaGebka Nephilim by Nilopher
:thumb155378521: Brothers Always by Rickbw1
Heartbreaker by ZiiZii-RocK


I give the following clubs...

:icongothikromania: :icondreamers-of-avalon:  :iconphotomanipulatorclub: :iconshadowcat-arts:
:iconunknown-artists-club: :iconsupporting-artists:
:icondigital-art-club: :iconallarts:  
:iconcutoutstock:

Permission to display my work on their site.

My Stamp....feel free to add it to your
journal or shoutbox!


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stocks I LOVE

faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stock:thumb38495926:SUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock

Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb113519344::thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme:thumb114557126:

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY



IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
© 2008-2009 nightt-angell/Lainie Rutz,
registered and protected by MyFreeCopyright.com.
All rights reserved.


  • Mood: Gloomy
  • Reading: Enemy Of God
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

Invasive Surgery this A.M.

Journal Entry: Mon Mar 15, 2010, 2:59 AM
It's 5:50 A.M., and I've had visitors all morning
getting me ready to do an invasive proceedure called a
Bronchoscopy. They're going to put me to sleep, numb my
throat, and run a camera down into my windpipe into my
lungs to see if they can find the cause of, first, the
recurring bronchitus, and now, the recurring pneumonia,
and the fact that all my antibiotics are now resisting
fighting my infections. I know it isn't a serious proceedure,
but I'm nervous nevertheless at being put to sleep....
please think of me to day, I'll try to update you as I can....


I have a question. Since DA has gone to groups and we
submit our works to them and have the group widget,
do I NEED to have this permission disclaimer here in my
journal anymore?


Never for a moment think any of you are not
important to me, because you are.


:heart:


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
:blackrose:

††††††††††††††††††

Featured by RiNymph by RiNymph-Stock
:floating:
news.deviantart.com/article/10…

My Photo Manipulater Profile :D

PMP224 by PhotomanipulatorClub

I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck

Angel Themed Features!

:thumb122948339: Royal Gift by Aaraujo
Swan Song by WeijiC
An Angel In The Cemetery by maiarcita
Creating Light by elanordh Rhiannon by Scarlettletters
Goddess of the Night by silentfuneral
Angel - Angelo by Jaelle
The Dark Angel by FreyjaSig The Truth Beneath the Rose by Josiane-Rey
The Angels will come forth by Ulysses0302 Into the Light by Saarl
banished from heaven by JoannaGebka Nephilim by Nilopher
:thumb155378521: Brothers Always by Rickbw1
Heartbreaker by ZiiZii-RocK


I give the following clubs...

:icongothikromania: :icondreamers-of-avalon:  :iconphotomanipulatorclub: :iconshadowcat-arts:
:iconunknown-artists-club: :iconsupporting-artists:
:icondigital-art-club: :iconallarts:  

Permission to display my work on their site.

My Stamp....feel free to add it to your
journal or shoutbox!


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stocks I LOVE

faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stock:thumb38495926:SUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock

Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb113519344::thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme:thumb114557126:

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY



IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
© 2008-2009 nightt-angell/Lainie Rutz,
registered and protected by MyFreeCopyright.com.
All rights reserved.


  • Mood: Nervous

Hospital Bed Bound Again....New Features, Angels!

Journal Entry: Tue Mar 9, 2010, 11:31 PM
If it isn't one thing, it's another,
In the middle of a divorce and now
I'm the hospital with COPD...
I feel awful that I'm not here more,
I just haven't the time or the stregnth
to deal with it right now.

I will most certainly try to sit down
and thank all those who
have :+fav:ed and :+devwatch:ed me.
I'm ashamed to say I've fallen so far behind.

Never for a moment think any of you are not
important to me, because you are.


:heart:


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
:blackrose:

††††††††††††††††††

Featured by RiNymph by RiNymph-Stock
:floating:
news.deviantart.com/article/10…

My Photo Manipulater Profile :D

PMP224 by PhotomanipulatorClub

I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck

Angel Themed Features!

:thumb122948339: Royal Gift by Aaraujo
Swan Song by WeijiC
An Angel In The Cemetery by maiarcita
Creating Light by elanordh Rhiannon by Scarlettletters
Goddess of the Night by silentfuneral
Angel - Angelo by Jaelle
The Dark Angel by FreyjaSig The Truth Beneath the Rose by Josiane-Rey
The Angels will come forth by Ulysses0302 Into the Light by Saarl
banished from heaven by JoannaGebka Nephilim by Nilopher
:thumb155378521: Brothers Always by Rickbw1
Heartbreaker by ZiiZii-RocK

Clubs

:iconcutoutstock: Gravewalkers Stamp by waterproofvelvet

I give the following clubs...

:icongothikromania: :icondreamers-of-avalon:  :iconphotomanipulatorclub: :iconshadowcat-arts:
:iconunknown-artists-club: :iconsupporting-artists:
:icondigital-art-club: :iconallarts:  

Permission to display my work on their site.

My Stamp....feel free to add it to your
journal or shoutbox!


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stocks I LOVE

faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stock:thumb38495926:SUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock

Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb113519344::thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme:thumb114557126:

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY



IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
© 2008-2009 nightt-angell/Lainie Rutz,
registered and protected by MyFreeCopyright.com.
All rights reserved.


  • Mood: Shitty
  • Drinking: Coffee

DA Groups, Omfg!

Journal Entry: Wed Jan 6, 2010, 7:32 PM
I just gotta tell ya, I'm truly lovin'
this whole Deviant art groups thing...
I haven't been so busy here on DA since I joined!

But Holy SHIT! God forbid I shouldn't be
able to log on for one day  to clear out
my message center and daily deviations.
In one day after returning home from work,
I have as many as 1000 daily deviations
in  my message center, and that's after
clearing it out in the a.m. BEFORE work! :|

Perhaps I've joined too many groups??
I dunno, perhaps....they ARE a bit addicting!

So tell me, are YOU enjoying the whole
groups experience?


:heart:


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
:blackrose:

††††††††††††††††††

Featured by RiNymph by RiNymph-Stock
:floating:
news.deviantart.com/article/10…

My Photo Manipulater Profile :D

PMP224 by PhotomanipulatorClub

I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck

Winter Themed Features!

Place Where My Heart Perished by vampyre1
Winter Reflection 3 by InKibus when cold winds blow by WCS-Wildcat
Winter Raven by kenket winter by verdas
Winter by marquis73 Snow by Jaelle
Winter Girl by WargusEstor :thumb144525318:

Clubs

:iconcutoutstock: Gravewalkers Stamp by waterproofvelvet

I give the following clubs...

:icongothikromania: :icondreamers-of-avalon:  :iconphotomanipulatorclub: :iconshadowcat-arts:
:iconunknown-artists-club: :iconsupporting-artists:
:icondigital-art-club: :iconallarts:  

Permission to display my work on their site.

My Stamp....feel free to add it to your
journal or shoutbox!


Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stocks I LOVE

faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stock:thumb38495926:SUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock

Some of the wonderful artists and
clubs I support!


:thumb113519344::thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme:thumb114557126:

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY




IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
© 2008-2009 nightt-angell/Lainie Rutz,
registered and protected by MyFreeCopyright.com.
All rights reserved.


  • Mood: Love Dazed
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi

Update on my health..

Journal Entry: Sun Jan 3, 2010, 9:49 AM


Those of you that read my last journal entry know that I was concerned I may have lung cancer after a trip to the ER.

Well, a week onto my antibiotics and all the other meds they prescribed me, I wasn't doing any better. I was doing worse in fact, so, I returned to the ER.

After a new batch of X-Rays, the Doctor said It was definately pneumonia. Instead of being a spot on mt left lung, now there was a large spot not only on my left lung, but my right lung as well. They were concerned because the  pneumonia wasn't responding to the antibiotics already prescribed at all.

I was admitted to the hospital December 29th, I was hooked to an IV and given antibiotics intraveiniously, and breathing treatments. I was released on Friday January 1st.

Aside from being very tired, I'm feeling much better. The cough that has plauged me for years is all but gone...Not having health insurance can literally kill you, because if I had had insurance, I never would have waited so very long to get help.

Thank you and much love to all who lit a candle, said a prayer, and kept me in your thoughts.


:heart:


:pointr: Now, I have a question, I'd like to learn to make my own journal skin, is there any helpful tutorials on how to do so? I'd appreciate any help :pointl:


:thumb105291970:


Nibbles and licks :lick:

╫NightAngel╫
:blackrose:

††††††††††††††††††

Featured by RiNymph by RiNymph-Stock
:floating:
news.deviantart.com/article/10…

My Photo Manipulater Profile :D

PMP224 by PhotomanipulatorClub

I don't play tag stamp by Trenton-Shuck

Winter Themed Features!

Place Where My Heart Perished by vampyre1
Winter Reflection 3 by InKibus when cold winds blow by WCS-Wildcat
Winter Raven by kenket winter by verdas
Winter by marquis73 Snow by Jaelle
Winter Girl by WargusEstor :thumb144525318:

Clubs

:iconcutoutstock: Gravewalkers Stamp by waterproofvelvet

I give the following clubs...

:icongothikromania: :icondreamers-of-avalon:  :iconphotomanipulatorclub: :iconshadowcat-arts:
:iconthe-wings-club: :icond-art-of-friendship: :iconunknown-artists-club: :iconsupporting-artists: :iconamateur-manips: :iconartistsunknow: :icondigital-art-club:
:iconallarts: :iconcreatebyweek:

Permission to display my work on their site.

My Stamp....feel free to add it to your journal or shoutbox!

Another NightAngel Stamp by Nightt-Angell

Stocks I LOVE

faestock support stamp by sammykaye1FallnStock stamp animated by meljoy68:thumb52808273:
Lugubrum-stock Places Stamp by lugubrum-stock:thumb38495926:SUPPORT STAMP_Elandria by Lady-Dementia-Stock

Some of the wonderful artists and clubs I support!

:thumb113519344::thumb106525494:

Lies Stamp by ThousandLiesStamp by Pickyme:thumb114557126:

Stamp2_for vampyre1 by CearaFinn


Stamps I Like



H A P P Y BUNNY by JaM-FaiRY





IMPORTANT © COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All my artwork is under Copyright
© 2008-2009 nightt-angell/Lainie Rutz,
registered and protected by MyFreeCopyright.com.
All rights reserved.


  • Mood: dA Love
  • Drinking: Propel